


"what does that bastard have that I don’t?"

by sparks_fly



Series: [ for you're the start and end of me | park & park ] [4]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2park is endgame, Angst with a Happy Ending, DEEPHWI BECAUSE BABIES ARE FOREVER, JINSEOB BUT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, M/M, bffs turned to ex to lovers again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 09:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14210010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparks_fly/pseuds/sparks_fly
Summary: Because he’d already lost the battle he’s trying to win ---to win him back --- to get him back again





	"what does that bastard have that I don’t?"

**Author's Note:**

> the bold ones are lyrics to gdragon's that bastard  
> anyway, please note that i love daniel so so so much i love him, my ult my fave hah
> 
> my wannaone twitter account is @porkwoojined please scream at me there!

 

**Please look at me**

 

The end starts something like this:

 

 

“Wooj?” A mere whisper. So fragile. So painful to listen to.

 

‘Hmm?’ A hum in return, unsure and defeated.

 

_(Because he’d already lost the battle he’s trying to win ---to win him back --- to get him back again.)_

 

“You know you’re like ---” A little hesitation & a sob. “--- the best thing that ever happened in my life but ---”

 

“It’s not the same anymore. I… I understand.” _A lie. It’s a lie_.

 

“I’m really sorry, you know. I didn’t mean---” _To fall out of love with me, Hoon?_

 

“That’s okay.” The answer’s too fast because _No, it’s not really fine at all. How can it be fucking fine?_

 

_Don’t go. Don’t leave me for him. Stay with me please._

 

“So…” The voice’s vulnerable, _it freaking hurts_.

 

_You’re so fucking beautiful --- why --- do not cry._

 

He’d never want to see him cry ‘cause it’s his choice to leave. It’s Jihoon's choice to go and Woojin's willing to give it to the older man. Because who is he to tell him otherwise? Who is Woojin to be so selfish to cage his best friend --- his lover (can he even call him that?) --- in a relationship where is he not happy anymore?

 

 

“Goodbye?” He offers lightly. He’d never want to hurt him…to make things complicated. He hates seeing him cry, it’s what he can do for him.

 

The doe-eyed man looks at him guiltily. Worries, guilt, confusion and --- (he gulps, this can’t be) --- love tracing his beautiful face. He stands and presses his lips on the brunette’s forehead. There’s nothing Woojin can do now.

 

He’s already slipping away.

 

“Not goodbye, Woojin.. but see you around.”

 

He watches as the man hesitantly walks out of their supposed-to-be-shared apartment but now all his and just his alone.

 

_But why Jihoon?_

 

_ღ_

 

 

 

**They say love is blind ---**

 

(Oh, Park Woojin, you’re so blind.)

 

For once, Park Woojin can only agree to his friends. Certain enough, if he’s not the blind Park Woojin, he’s moving on, ready to fall in love, be happy and return to the old ‘optimistic-is-the-key-to-everything Park Woojin’. But he cannot (and thinks) he will never, not when you fell in love with the Park Jihoon.

 

_Park Jihoon…._

 

A sigh and a pause. Park Jihoon, had he been allowed to compare him, he’d say, he’s like an addiction, something bad for your health when it’s too much yet something you’d continue wanting to take – to have. Like a tattoo inside his heart and mind, permanently engraved. Like a fire burning through his system, killing him softly, tortuously and liking it.

 

Park Jihoon’s perfect --- painfully perfect in so many ways he can think of. His doe eyes… his perfect straight nose… his snowy white skin… his soft and gentle hands… his fuck as weird questions… his out-of-the-blue statements… his random tantrums… his graceful and sinewy movements… his compassionate soul… everything about him screams perfection for him. And Park Woojin’s starting to think he’s not and cannot be perfect enough to be with Park Jihoon.

 

Perhaps… that’s why he left, right?

 

 

(Would a Kang Daniel fit the Park Jihoon perfectly?)

 

In Park Woojin’s ineluctable fate, the day he’s dreading for never to happen is eventually coming. Seoul’s not a big city (and the song goes it’s a small world after all), they have the same circle of friends (aka the maknaes) and… they’re still the best of friends, are they not? (In his heart, he knows Jihoon is more than that.)

 

Ten months, nine day, eight hours and forty five minutes did it take for him to come back again to his home land. It took almost a year for him and for his courage to gain back and face what he left in Seoul. His heart --- his sanity --- his life --- his mind (how he wishes his Jihoon is as well…)

 

So the inevitable day came… one chilly winter night (oh how this will be his loneliest Christmas ever) when the reunion happens. Nothing extravagant or mind-blowing. Simple, just his unexpected sheer luck. These days, he’s busy getting back his old routines. Busy meeting his old friends (who insist on trying to blind date him to someone), catching up what he missed, and busy trying to be the old Park Woojin --- except it will never be the same anymore. (How can it be when one big part of his life is missing?)

 

Caffeine has been a great help to him the past months. If before, he's never had the need for it but now, he thinks his life depends on it. So imagine his shock that while getting his favorite coffee and donuts, stepping backwards, holding his tray when he hears a shriek.

 

_A shriek?_

 

He wills to face whoever he stepped on, ‘I’m sorry’ are the words ready to escape his lips, only to come and meet with those familiar brown and gentle doe eyes, making his heart shriek in silence too. (Oh fuck Park Woojin’s mind and heart). Nothing has changed about him --- still painfully beautiful--- gorgeous--- perfect (danger, dangerous --- forever a dangerous human being) --- mind his hair.

 

Red.

 

He is red-haired now. Red like Woojin's raw emotions. Red (why all of the colors suited him – pink, black, brown, gray, blonde, gold --- so so perfectly?)

 

When the latter sinks into a reality of who he is, no surprise that he gasps, eyes wide from relief, thin lips parting and wide smile present on his perfect face. He is shining, light illuminating round his figure, halo present above his head and when he hugs him (and Woojin has to reel back his heart for the mere sight of this dangerous creature can shatter him down once more) and with those sweet and gentle voice, he hears ---

 

“Hiya, Wooj! It’s nice to see you again.”

 

The wariness, the confusion and the ‘I’m-very-glad –to-just-finally-see-you-again’ dripping from Jihoon's voice is enough for Woojin to have a good guard and to never let it down.

 

 

The deafening silence of ‘I-just-miss-you-so-badly’ rings inside the coffee shop.

 

დ

 

 

 

 

The ring shining around his long finger is the first (or probably the second, after his hair, of course) thing he noticed after the older led them to sit themselves. It’s plainly there as he holds his own tea –silver and bland– and yet mocking him in a very offensive way. Thus, it only means one thing – Park Jihoon will never be his again.

 

“What about you?”

 

Woojin halts his thoughts, hands cupping his coffee unto his lips to distract himself. _Oh, right,_ Jihoon is talking, he forgets immediately because of that goddamned ring. The beautiful smile withers, replacing by a frown. _He can easily read you, Woojin._ _Be and act like a man and get your shit together. You can’t… You just can’t…_

 

“Wooj,” Jihoon calls out, familiarity bringing back the buried feelings. _One nickname is all that it takes._ “I’m asking you, how are you doing? Yah, you’re lost again in your own world, hmm?”

 

He wants to playfully banter that _No, Hoonie, between the two of us, you’re the one who’s always lost in your world_ but opts to answer, “Getting back on the field, as usual.”

 

“Are you dancing again?” It suddenly feels vaguely familiar.

 

“Of course. Hmm… what about you?” _Masochist,_ Woojin berates himself. Why the fuck is he doing this, he'll never understand.

 

“Niellie?”

 

Oh, his heart whimpers at the name. There’s the pain, there’s the tug, Jihoon just mutters his name and Woojin feels like kneeling down… feels like crying… because he can see right through the latter’s eyes how smitten… how he adores the third guy just ... _it freaking hurts._

 

Jihoon blinks and turns to him with those innocent doe eyes and then breaks into fit of giggles. Woojin can only think that Jihoon looks so happy, shining and it hurts. _It hurts in the most pathetic way because I’ll never be the reason why he’s happy. Not anymore, anyway._

 

_Did I even make you this happy, Jihoon?_

 

The pretty male covers his mouth with his hands and though it sounds crazy, he likes the sound he makes. By how he’s acting, Woojin concludes he’s right. Jihoon's eyes never lie so he can already tell. But he doesn’t want to admit the truth. He doesn't want to admit that he's a lost case.

 

“Do… do you really love him?”

 

“I...” Jihoon averts his eyes on him, boring holes and haunting him down. “Of course, I do. I mean… I--- I --- have this, eh?” The pretty male shows his ring.

 

Ten fucking months compared to the thirteen years of being together, how can Jihoon let it go down the drain?

 

“… want to be with him forever…”

 

Forever seems like a mocking word for Park Woojin. He curses under his breath.

 

დ

 

**That bastard, what does he have that I don’t have?**

 

(And yes, Park Woojin wants to badly know.)

 

Ahn Hyeongseob, that’s the name of his blind date tonight, courtesy of the constant nagging from Daehwi and Jinyoung of him to just move the fuck on and forget what happened last week. (He should, he knows he should.)

 

“I mean when was the last time you ever dated?” Hyeongseob suddenly asks, sipping his iced tea.

 

Woojin chokes and stops. Coughs. Another one. “Uhmm.. well, Ahn Hyeongseob-ssi! Why do you keep asking that? You don’t have to worry, you know, I’m certainly free… available and… ‘He wriggles his eyebrows. “…hot.”

 

“Not to mention audacious.” Hyeongseob adds.

 

It’s so natural for him to laugh with this man. Like breathing, like they’ve known each other for a long time. Because Hyeongseob is actually a nice guy. He's pretty and also talkative. Though, their chemistry holds just like a brother --- nothing more and nothing less.

 

“I’ve heard that… you recently just broke up. From Daehwi.. so what made you agree on this date?” His eyes twinkle. Like a star in the sky.

 

Woojin nods tentatively, processing his answer. He asks himself the same thing. “I just think it’s time to…” _Move on, Woojin?_ “… let go, you know. I just can’t be forever moping.”

 

 _But it’s a lie_ , he knows it himself. He’ll never ever move on.

 

“Ah, well, you certainly have a point.” Hyeongseob nods, protruding his pinkish lips. Woojin thinks it's actually cute.

 

 

The door of the restaurant suddenly opens and their eyes flicker to that place. And suddenly, Woojin hears a thump from his heart. Right now, he’s looking through --- meeting --- doe and uncertain eyes of one man, this particular man’s hands intertwines with another one. And his flicker from Woojin to the other man beside him, then to the guy beside Woojin. It’s so fast like a blink of an eye.

 

They might not catch it but he does. The sadness and the jealousy he has had read from the same man whenever he talked to some guys or girls. He closes his eyes and chants, _they’ll go they’ll go away.. They’re not… please, save me._

 

But fate is nothing but a bitch to him. Because of course, his ex-lover is already standing beside their table with a man taller than him. The man has a smug smirk painting his face.

 

“Hiya, Woojin.”

 

_Whoa, heart, calm the fuck down._

 

დ

 

 

**It’s good that you can be this happy**

 

Inevitably, Woojin has learned a long time ago (surprisingly, just one week after meeting Jihoon again), it’d come. The day he’d eventually meet the Kang Daniel – the guy who has stolen Jihoon's heart away from him, -- the guy who sweeps off Jihoon so quickly which made Jihoon drop him like a hot potato.

 

Kang Daniel ---

 

\--- now he understands why Jihoon let himself be taken away by this man. He’s a master of words, oozing with charisma, sleek and slimy just like a snake. (But snakes are dangerous, right?) This guy’s so much better than him. Wherein he’s confident because he’s good according to other people,Kang Daniel’s the confidence himself. Comparing them, he’s lame and dull and Jihoon wants the best for him. _And it hurts because I can’t be that one person for him._

 

They are all sat on the round table. On his right is Hyeongseob and on his left’s Jihoon and in front of him is none other than Kang Daniel in his all glory. He has been wearing that confident smirk, mocking poor and broken Park Woojin.

 

“By the way, Wooj, this is my boyfriend, Kang Daniel. Niel, this is Park Woojin, my best friend.” Jihoon suddenly remembers, making Woojin wish he’s just forgotten it instead.

 

He nods, starting to stand up to bow but Kang Daniel opts for a handshake. “Bro, drop the formalities. It’s nice to meet you. Finally.”

 

_Finally, what?_

 

Woojin takes the hand and shakes it. Oh how he badly wants to crush this hand. “Good to see you, Daniel-ssi. And…’ He withdraws his hands and turns to Hyeongseob. “This is Ahn Hyeongseob, my… date.”

 

Hyeongseob bows a little with a smile on his cute face. “Hello. It’s pleasure to meet you.”

 

“How did you know Woojin? Where are you from? How long have you known Woojin? How long are you dating Woojin?” The questions pour out of Jihoon's lips before he can stop himself.

 

Uh-oh. 101 questions from Park Jihoon is not good.

 

_(Or maybe it is because it means he still cares, right?)_

 

((“Choi Yoojung? Who is she? Jinyoungie said you were with her this morning! Who is she? Is she pretty? Sexy? Tell me, Woojin! Who is Choi Yoojung?!?’ Woojin burst out once he opened the door to their bedroom eyes and nose flaring from anger and heat.

 

 _It’s so cute_ , he thought.

 

Woojin stood up, grabbed Jihoon's lithe waist and kissed his nose. “You’re so cute when you’re jealous.”

 

“Me? Jealous? Pffft. As if! I’m pretty sure I’m--- Park Woojin! Stop cutting me and explain. Now!”He yelled but this time less anger and less heat.

 

“Choi Yoojung… is just actually a very good friend of mine.”

 

“Good friend?’ Jihoon's eyebrow quirked. “Where and when did you meet her? How come I don’t know this woman?! I know all your friends, Park Woojin, so don't fucking deny this to me. Not in front of my salad, bastard.”

 

“Because,” Woojin sighed, smile playing already on his lips. _Jihoon's so endearing,_ he mused, and _very entertaining_. “… she is little Yerim's tutor.”

 

“Little Yerim's tutor only?” He pouted.

 

Woojin nodded, flicking his forehead. “Do you really think I can cheat on my one and only beautiful princess?”

 

“Princess?” Jihoon pushed him away, Woojin's eyes widened at the realization. “Park Woojin, you arsehole!”

 

Woojin had to run away, Jihoon hot on his tail.))

 

 

**I’m happy.**

 

 

დ

 

**That bastard beside you, he doesn't suit you...**

  
  


The moment Jihoon and Hyeongseob leave the table, his eyes never leave the path that they just have gone to, Kang Daniel (who is sitting comfortably in front of him) suddenly coughs to get his attention. And he does get it. Woojin is not sure why the smirk is still present on his face,

 

“Well, isn't this cozy?” He asks. An ice breaker. Perhaps not. “Hyeongseon?”

 

“Hyeongseob.” He corrects.

 

Kang Daniel nods, smiling, pondering. “Hyeongseob, nice name, huh. I bet a million fuck he'd be good in bed. Did you see his ass? Damn fine.”

 

Woojin is a patient man. He is, that's for sure, but how dare this man insult Park Jihoon in front of him? Does he even know Jihoon's history with him?

 

“I mean,” Daniel fucking continues, “not that Jihoon isn't great but that cute button nose doll you have...”

 

“I honestly...” He starts to say but gets interrupted when he sees Jihoon and Hyeongseob approaching and sitting down. He sees Daniel twining his fingers with Jihoon slyly, the latter oblivious how uncomfortable his ex lover is. Kang Daniel whispers something on Jihoon's ear making the latter smile and punch him lightly on his shoulder.

  
He smiles like a hypocrite.

 

_(Fuck, patience, Woojin, patience.)_

 

It seems like it takes all his will to not punch him, he's about to when he feels something light on his hand. Sure enough, Hyeongseob's hand is on him. He turns to look at Hyeongseob --- bewildered how bold he has become. There's a tiny smile on his face. It's calming -- lulling but never as blinding as Jihoon's.

 

“You can do it.” He mouths.

 

Woojin nods at him but then he feels that there are more eyes on them as he's looking at Hyeongseob. When he looks at the other two, he catches the sad glimpse of Park Jihoon.

 

Which he hopes to tell him of something more.

  
დ

 

**Expensive cars, beautiful clothes, high class restaurants, they all suit you well.**

 

 

It's become a habit, Woojin mulls, as Jihoon lies on the floor beside him inside his apartment. It's become a habit that ever since his meeting with Kang Daniel Jihoon's visit becomes every three times a week.

  
And it's like he is trying to build Woojin's hopes up and he'd never know when he'd crush it down. It's harder to forget like this ---- harder to move on. Why is Jihoon finding his way back to Woojin's life like nothing has ever happened between them?

  
_Park Jihoon, are you trying to play a game you know I can never win?_

 

The beautiful man puffs popcorn in his mouth, and while he knows Jihoon is a glutton who can never gain weight, he knows there's a problem as well. Jihoon sighs. He sighs. Jihoon knows he can't handle him like this.

 

“Speak up.” He commands, taking the popcorn away and munching it.

  
Jihoon whines as he takes the popcorn away and when Woojin puffs popcorn inside his mouth, he rolls his eyes. _[I bet my ass Daniel is the root of his sighs.]_ “No, it's just that. Daniel...”

 

“Again?”

 

 

It's all familiar. It's all the same. Jihoon has been going back and forth to his apartment to nag and whine about Daniel. Either Daniel forgets their date or Daniel hasn't been as sweet as he is like when they were starting their relationship. And Woojin is there to listen to his best friend.

  
“It's just..” Jihoon sighs for the nth time. It's not like he knows what to say now. “He takes me everywhere, gives me everything I want, yes, but.. at times, it's still not enough.”

  
“Park Jihoon, I think you're just being a spoiled brat.”

 

“I know. But with you, when I was with you, it's different, noh?” His doe eyes, ever glossy. How does the Kang Daniel stomach hurting this beautiful man? “He gives everything I want, but he never sees me. He doesn't see me. Unlike you..”

 

Jihoon sighs and burrows his face on his hands. He hates to see him like this. Jihoon has always been insecure and it always gets to him. He can't understand why Jihoon over thinks about his relationship with Daniel now because the way he tells about it, it's almost close to perfect.

 

The older man sighs, again, by this time he looks up at him and Woojin almost gets a heart attack. His eyes are puffy, his nose as red as tomatoes, and his lips ( _oh god, his lips)_ are kissable.

 

“Every single time we're together, I feel like it's not much. I can't exactly breathe. He always wants me to be pretty for him. One moment, he's a tease and then he's cold. It's like walking on the edge and I'm not sure if I'm going to turn out alive.” He pouts. “But when I was with you--”

 

“Jihoon-ah,” he cuts off. “I think this time you should stop comparing what we had to what you have with him. It's not fair for the three of us.”

 

 _It's not fair for me, most especially_ , Woojin pleads.

 

“What you and I had were different from what you have with Daniel-ssi. We can't be the same man altogether.”

 

“Woojin.” The desperation in his voice is evident. Somehow, Woojin wants to give in to the older Park.

 

He looks at Jihoon and there he sees the 7 year old Park Jihoon who made his heart beat for first time after Jihoon's father died. He sees the 12 year old Park Jihoon who was bullied after finding out his sexual preference. He sees the 15 year old Park Jihoon scared out of his wits after Woojin's own confession of ' _I love you and I want to protect you forever'_. He sees the 27 year old man who said, 'Not  
goodbye, Woojin.. but see you around.'

 

 

He's trying to shake it off but Jihoon leans forward and it's a spur of the moment, he leans forward, as well, and it's chapped lips to pinkish lips of Jihoon, tongues clashing and _(dear god, it's been too long)_.

The kiss doesn't last long but it leaves them breathless. Jihoon is blushing so hard, wide eyes and open mouth and the next moment Woojin remembers is Jihoon jumping up, leaving furiously, running outside as fast as he can take, door loudly closing and Woojin's heart beating loudly on the floor.

 

_What the hell just happened?_

 

_დ_

 

 

 

 

**Walking on the street**

 

It's been two weeks since the accident. It's been two weeks since he's last seen the man. No text

messages, no phone calls and that left Woojin hanging again. It's left him wanting more --- wanting more of explanations --- wanting more to see Jihoon.. just to see him again.

 

In those two weeks, he's tried to practice a mantra. _(It's an accident, you fool! No need to get worked up for something like that.)_ He's tried to meet Ahn Hyeongseob these days, as well. And lately, he's just trying so hard to actually forget that Park Jihoon ever existed.

 

And well, it's proving to be impossible, too.

 

Especially night at this instance.

 

Currently, he's been glaring holes at Kang Daniel. He's on a date with Ahn Hyeongseob but what catches his interest is the man opposite them. It's Kang Daniel in all his glory. Now, a platinum blonde man, he's currently wrapped his arms around a skinny small man, sleek smile on his face while trying to teach the other how to play a gun game in the arcade.

 

And he's hoped that his eyes are lying to him. Or perhaps, he has bad eyes. That's fine, he's just going to see an ophthalmologist tomorrow. But sadly, his eyes don't lie.

 

Hunches don't lie. He's known Daniel only has a bad game.

 

Instead of a skinny red-haired man he's wanted to see for the last two weeks, it's a skinny black-haired

man, who's nothing compared to the Park Jihoon, has his arms wrapped into, his lips touching his ears into.

 

And Woojin sees nothing but red.

 

He throws a punch, two, three... and everyone's hysterical inside the arcade. Hyeongseob runs and tries but eventually gets stunned as he sees who's he fighting with. Dark eyes shocked, mouth shapes into a

perfect "O" and then Hyeongseob understands.

 

Woojin does not mind the people around them, Hyeongseob shouting at them to 'stop', he only has eyes straight on the man under him. He's still wearing that smirk and all he wants is to remove that smirk on his face.

 

“You..” A punch. “Fucking..” Punch. “Bastard.” One more.

 

The guards appear, separating both of them.

 

“I knew it.” Woojin spats. “I knew somewhere you're not perfect, Kang Daniel but why?”

 

Kang Daniel all but shakes his head, wiping the blood off of his lips. “Tell him. Tell him and break his heart. Let's see. Do you want that, Park Woojin?” And then he shrugs the guards holding him and flees with the man beside him.

 

 

 

FROM: 2nd Park

TO: 1st Park

Message: _He's cheating on you._

 

_დ_

 

Hyeongseob advises that he tell what happened to Jihoon.

And he does.

 

Now, he hears two insecure knocks on his door. He opens it, and not to his surprise, it's Jihoon. He's ran from his shared apartment with Daniel to his apartment, he's sure of that. He's a little bit breathless and shaky. Woojin steps aside for Jihoon to enter. He does. His steps are heavy and unsure.

 

It takes three steps for Jihoon.

 

Then he turns around, lips quivering, he inquires, “Is it true? Is he really cheating on me? Is it really my

Daniel?'”And then he kneels down, Woojin catching him.

 

Never had Woojin seen Jihoon this down, this unsure and he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't

know what to say because he's never seen Jihoon like this. He hates it because he's never dreamed --- in his entire goddamn existence --- to hurt Jihoon. He only loves him --- wants to be with him --- wants the best for him --- adores him --- cherishes him --- so how dare this Kang Daniel to ruin Jihoon like he's nothing?

 

“ _Tell him. Tell him and break his heart. Let's see. Do you want that, Park Woojin?”_

 

Daniel's words are mocking him right now.

 

“Park fucking Woojin!” Jihoon shouts. “It's not him, right? Please tell me it's not him. Like you've seen wrongly? Or maybe... he looks like him? Or you've got bad eyes? But! It's not Kang Daniel! Right? Right, Woojin?”

 

And then he's dubious now whether he wants to say the truth or not.

 

“Daniel is not that kind of a person.” Jihoon's pupils are shaking from anger.

 

Woojin is kind of scared at how he's seeing. He knows Jihoon gets angry --- gets sad, everyone does. But he's never seen this Jihoon. He's always been sure of himself. Woojin only has worshiped the ground Jihoon's walked. So to see him angry-sad because of a worthless person gets to him so bad.

 

“I...”

 

“Woojin, why are you doing this?” Jihoon inquires, pushing him on his chest.

 

“What?'”Now, he's baffled.

 

Jihoon shakes his head. “Don't ruin my relationship with him. I love him and we're going to get married. The kiss --- it was an accident.” He gulps. “It's just off-the-cuff moment. An accident. Yes, that's it.” He even nods, eyes are lost now.

 

Jihoon doesn't sound convincing, neither Woojin's convinced by his words.

 

“Find someone who'll love you back. Let me go and stop ruining what I have with Daniel. I'm happy... now. It's time... it's time for you to be happy, too. And it's not with me anymore. I'm not going back to you anymore.”

 

The bitterness in Woojin's heart grows.

 

Woojin hears his heart shattering into pieces. He looks everywhere save Jihoon. He notices how

dim-lighted his apartment is. He notices how lame and bland his white ceiling is. Maybe just like him. Maybe, that's the exact reason why Jihoon broke up with him. He's bland and lame like his own ceiling.

 

He breathes heavily and looks straightly in his eyes. “Are you really happy with him, Jihoon-ah?'

 

Park Jihoon looks taken aback and confused. He bites his lips and then looks away with a small nod.

 

“I'm sorry, Jihoon. I just thought --- if I told you he's cheating on you then... there might be a chance for us to get back together.”

 

And then Jihoon stops finally hitting and steps forward and never in his life would he ever see or imagine Jihoon slapping him. But he does, anyway.

 

“You're so disgusting.” And he leaves as fast as he did two weeks ago.

 

He doesn't sleep that night, nor does Jihoon.

 

**See, I lied for you.**

 

 

დ

 

 

**It's so obvious, why can't you see?**

 

Days of not speaking to each other turns into weeks then months and season has changed. It's no longer winter but spring but still, it's chilly at times.

 

He's constantly going out with Ahn Hyeongseob now and both Daehwi and Jinyoung cannot be any happier so they go out together to celebrate. But Daehwi also fails to mention that he's also invited Jihoon out which means he's going to see Kang Daniel. Why his best friend fails to mention this to him is unnerving to say the least because he's going to see Kang Daniel.

 

Again.

 

The one person he hates.

 

Sitting in front of him is the said man. He drinks a glass of soju. Then again while looking at him. Kang Daniel's just smiling behind his glass, a smile that's taunting him even further. So he drinks and he drinks and drinks again.

 

“Woojinie.” Hyeongseob calls and then he halts. He looks at the small man beside him. He has this gentle, understanding smile. “Slow down, please.”

 

He thinks again and smiles. He needs to listen to Hyeongseob or he's going to turn into a comedy. He doesn't want that in front of his other best friends. He lowers his glass and Hyeongseob holds his hand. He nods down, Hyeongseob calms him down, that's for sure.

 

On the other hand, Jihoon gulps his soju like water. One, two, three.

 

“Park Jihoon!” Daehwi suddenly yells. “Don't drink so much!” He chastises.

 

Woojin looks at Jihoon who's only looking back at him. There's hate in his yes, he's sure of it. He knows him too much to know what kind of faces or emotions he makes. But Jihoon is not backing down until his face meets the table.

 

“Goddamnit, Jihoon hyung.” Jinyoung sighs.

 

But Jihoon looks up again with a silly grin. Woojin is alarmed. He's drunk as fuck. “You two!” He addresses both Hyeongseob and him. “You don't look good together.” He smiles and claps his hands. “Tsk. I'm sure Woojinie can do so much better than you.”

 

Hyeongseob flushes and suddenly jumps out. “Uhmm --- I... I'm just going to the bathroom.” He suddenly says.

 

Woojin is about to stand up and run but the two younger ones are giving him the Looks that spells nothing but Death so he immediately backs down.

 

“Yah! Yah!” Woojin calls for his attention once more. “He's not the one.”

 

Hyeongseob runs away.

 

დ

 

 

Hyeongseob's taking too long. Jihoon passes out. Kang Daniel goes MIA and both Daehwi and Jinyoung look worried. Daehwi is currently massaging Jihoon's back while he's confused why Hyeongseob is taking too long and where the fuck is Kang Daniel?

 

He can't take it any longer. He stands up, and Jihoon's head rises up too. “Park Woojin! Are you going after Hyeongseob, huh? HUH? You didn't even try to go after me when I fucking left you, you bastard!”

 

“Hyung...” Jinyoung whines at Jihoon. “Sober up, please.”

 

“I'm not drunk!” He waves him off. “But you! Park Woojin and Hyeongseob-ssi... tsk tsk..” And he buries his face again on the table.

 

Woojin shakes his head. He needs to look for both Hyeongseob and Daniel. Jihoon needs to go

home and rest. And Hyeongseob does too.

 

Washroom...

 

Woojin's got the bad feeling as he nears the washroom. It's eerie and he doesn't know why. When he comes inside, it's the biggest shock of his life.

Kang Daniel has his hands inside the same man he's seen him in the arcade, his hands inside shirt and the'yre kissing. The smallest boy seems surprised at his sudden appearance. He's as surprised at what he's watching. Kang Daniel only glares at him but he doesn't take a step away from the smaller man.

 

That's until someone whizzes past him and knocks Kang Daniel out while shouting, “You fucking asshole! Motherfucker!”And then he proceeds to punch the smaller man right after.

 

And to his biggest surprise and amusement, Jihoon's barfing on Daniel right on his fucking face.

 

And fuck, he's smiling so bad.

 

Because it's karma for Kang Daniel as Jihoon continues to vomit on his face and both the couple outside -- Daehwi and Jinyoung --- are stifling and failing miserably their laughter.

 

“Fuck! Fuck! Park Jihoon!” Daniel yells at Jihoon, trying to get away from him but Jihoon has his hands wrapped securely on Daniel.

 

The next moment he knows is that he's backing Jihoon away from Daniel and before Jihoon blocks out, he says. “Take me home, Woojinie.”

 

_Home, where is your home, Jihoon? Because you're always my home._

 

_დ_

 

 

**How much longer are you going to cry yourself silly?**

 

Jihoon has a hangover as he sits up on his bed. The room is familiar and it feels home. He smiles

but groans and Woojin watches as he struggles down from his shirt.

 

“Coffee?” The younger one offers.

 

The older man looks up and accepts the coffee, taking a sip. “Ugh! I hate hangover!” He says and

Woojin laughs. Jihoon laughs because it's safe and familiar and home. Woojin has always been his home from the start.

 

Silence takes them and Jihoon's uncertain as he pats the space on Woojin's bed. Woojin raises his brows and Jihoon beckons him to join on the bed. They sit side by side. Both awkward and uncertain.

 

“I'm sorry.” They say together.

 

“I'm so stupid...” Jihoon says.

 

“I'm so pathetic...” Woojin says at the same time.

 

And then they smile. They look at each other and Jihoon holds his hand. And it's warm and good and nice because this is what should have happened before. He's been waiting for Jihoon to come back to his senses and now, it's happening and he's never been this happy.

 

“Woojin, I'm really sorry. I was -- I was so in love with the idea of loving that bastard. He swept me off.... and I forgot. I forgot that you're here... at home. I'm so sorry. I know it's my fault. I was too weak... and he's too... oh fuck.... so so sorry. And I'm just.... ugh.” He groans, one hand brushing his hair.

 

Woojin smiles and hugs him. This is the Jihoon he's known. Adorable even though insecure. And he's back, that's the most important thing. “Thank you for coming back home, Jihoonie.” He says sincerely.

 

“Woojin ---”

 

“Shh..” He gives a small peck on his lips. “I know how challenging and exciting it must have been with that bastard... but with me, you're home. That's all that I can assure you.”

 

“I know.. I know he's been cheating on me but I tried to deny because you're there...., Woojin... and I realized that I'm still in love with you.... so so much... but..”

 

Woojin silences him with a kiss because he's back, and that's all that matters. And that day, he worships Jihoon from head to toe like Daniel's never existed in their lives.

 

_I love you and I miss you rings inside the apartment._

 

There's one thing he knows... is that it's a past that both of them are going to laugh at. It was a challenge which would make them stronger and better. It's a magic. It's home. Park Woojin is Park Jihoon's home.

 

Park Jihoon is Park Woojin's home.

 

**Rather than going through the pain alone, share some with me, baby.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> yessseuu! there ya go.  
> anything?  
> cross-posted this in aff as another pairing


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